Friday, January 3, 2014

Things people never tell you

Getting pregnant is a beautiful thing...  HAHA! look at me I was a gigantic manatee! (Don't lie you were thinking it before I said it). Not to mention the 90 degree weather we were having was just perfect. Exactly what i wanted since i couldn't move and perfected a new way to slide out of bed and the couch.  So not only was I a huge whale, I looked like one with all the sweat pouring off of me... more like a beached whale.

I have always required a lot of sleep and during the pregnancy you would think I had become sleeping beauty with the amount I needed. I began to think that possibly motherhood would not suit me and my lack of sleep would really benefit no one. What if when she woke up in the middle of the night I was too tired to take care of her, or too angry at her for being awake? Guess what? These situations do happen and no one tells you about them! I remember one night I was just too tired to take care of her. It was her 3rd time up and I wasn't lucid by any means. I was starting to get angry and even worse I felt like I was starting to resent her for not learning what sleep was. This is when you need your partner to step in or get a parent to help you. It's ok to get some help and it does not mean you are a failure. And it's normal to get angry. Sleep deprivation can change who you are and you are a better parent with a sane mind so make your husband do the night duty for once so you can be a good mom. Of course afterwards you feel guilty for being "mad" at your little one but it's normal and every mom goes through it.

Did you see my previous mention about flatulence? Now I have always been immature when it comes to this subject because honestly farts are funny! But when you are pregnant it just brings on a whole new embarrassing element. No one ever talks about how you can't control the noises that come out of you when you stand up from a sitting position or go up and down stairs. You may be laughing right now as you are reading this, but it's true! If anyone would have warned me about the amount of gas that comes out on a daily basis when you are pregnant I would have tried to invent some soundproof underwear.  Its just not normal, and yet it is! I guess it's something only pregnant women can understand but let me tell you, YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED (hehehehe)

So you know how pregnant women always say they are uncomfortable? Well I was expecting that. I was expecting not to be able to find a comfy place in bed, and I was expecting to not be able to jog. But the Pelvic pressure I was experiencing was out of this world. Now I know each pregnancy is different but I know pelvic pressure has to be a common occurrence right? I mean every time I got out of bed I cringed and felt like 100 pounds was just weighing down on me. It got to the point where I could really only make it around the block without being in so much pain. I'm only 28 years old yet I was feeling like a 80 year old could do more than me. This can't be normal right? Wrong... Just get over it, people have been doing it for centuries. Blah

I found out fairly early I was pregnant and to be honest much of the happiness was overshadowed by fear. Would I be a good mom? Would I love her as much as I should? Would I resent her for taking away my time? No one tells you about these feelings, and to say every mom hasn't thought them at one point is a total lie. I would often find myself getting angry thinking I was such a terrible person for even having the slightest thought in this direction but what normal person doesn't react to change in some way? 

No one tells you about the crying! I mean its normal to cry at the birth but then after that all the crying is left for the baby, after all 
babies cry..  Duh everyone knows that! Well guess what? So do moms and I mean ALL THE FREAKIN TIME! Think you are a strong emotionless person? just wait till you have a baby, then just one look at a cute puppy in a commercial will send you into a blubbery mess because everything reminds you of your perfect baby.

Not all tears are happy tears, sometimes mom's just cry to cry! I mean you would think we had two babies with the amount of tears that came from me and I had no idea what was happening. Sometimes crying just happens and there is no reason, sometimes crying happens from lack of sleep, and most importantly sometimes crying happens because you think you are failing and no one in the whole world understands what you are going through. Well guess what? Crying is normal and I say let it out! Men don't understand crying and it's really frustrating especially when you don't even know why you are crying. But screw them and just do what you gotta do you are not a failure, sometimes you just need a good cry.

No one tells you how hard nursing is! I won't get into too much detail here as I have a whole lot of information on this saved for another day but I thought it would be so easy! After all babies are born with the natural instinct to suckle so it should be fine right? Wrong! No one tells you how painful it is, how sometimes it takes a lot of work to get your milk to come in and how sometimes they have bad latches which is a whole process in itself... Remember the crying? Yeah a lot was to do with this... Nursing is Hard! Don't let anyone fool you. It takes a lot of work buuut Stick with it, people have been doing it for centuries. Blah :)

How come no one tells you that a contraction feels like you have to take the largest most painful poop? Again I will get into this in a later entry but being a week overdue and lactose intolerant I thought I was just having a bad reaction to some ice cream I had. I know contractions are different in every person, some people get back pain, some people get cramps but i never heard it feels like you have to take a dump. I was trying every 4 mins to poop until my mom knocked some sense into me and told me they were contractions. I mean it never occurred to me in the slightest that i was actually having contractions. Thank god for my mom otherwise I would have had once of those toilet babies! 

So there's a lot of crap no one tells you about. I finally get what people mean when they say being a parent is the hardest job. You feel so angry at times and feel like no one understands you when in reality every 2nd person has gone through the same experiences.  just know that pregnancy is a beautiful thing, not for you, but for the life it creates. 


  1. These are wonderful, touching and hilarious. Please keep writing them :)

    1. I will! I just started last week and have a million more ideas so keep checking back! :)